


Believing Hearts

by Diakkomass 2020 (Diakkomass20xx), Onhiro, RoseGoldRabbit



Series: Diakkomass 2020 [6]
Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Depression, Diakkomass, F/F, Fated Lovers, Happy Ending, Inspired in Part by Your Name, holiday magic, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27926647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diakkomass20xx/pseuds/Diakkomass%202020, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onhiro/pseuds/Onhiro, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseGoldRabbit/pseuds/RoseGoldRabbit
Summary: It’s been years since Akko had achieved her childhood dream of becoming the next Shiny Chariot, however, beneath the glamor and act she feels a gray emptiness growing inside. With the help of a mysterious woman and a little holiday magic, Akko finds herself confused and colliding into just the place to find what she’s been missing. For the seventh day of Diakkomass, we bring you a story by Onhiro with art by Rose.- Superevilbadguy
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Series: Diakkomass 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034991
Comments: 36
Kudos: 110





	Believing Hearts

Snow fell gently down on the evening field, covering it in a soft blanket and crowning the few trees that resided in it with white crowns that bent their branches. The only sound was that of someone running through the snow, and a moment later, a young woman came running around a fir tree, a determined glint in her eyes and a confident smirk on her lips peeking out from underneath a wide-brimmed witch’s hat that gleamed like a beacon. She was dressed in white and red, the skirt of her dress surprisingly short for the winter’s weather, but her boots were high and she had a thick cloak draped around her shoulders. Once she got well past the tree, she leapt as gracefully as a deer, coming down to slide through the snow as she lifted the large bow she held in her hand.

“No, Santa!” she cried out, her voice clear and steady as wind began to swirl the snow around her feet as well as her chestnut brown hair. “It isn’t too late, we still have a chance!” She raised the bow, right hand reaching out and drawing the string back to her cheek. “ _Noctu Orfei…Aude…Fraetor!_ ” she shouted, and released the bow string with a soft _*twang*_. She held that pose for a second before triumphantly leaping up, pumping her right hand into the air. “See, Santa?” she called out, voice filled with glee. “I told you they still believe! Now go! Go, Santa, and have a Merry Christmas!”

Her face lifted, an exultant smile on her face as she stared up into the air, her eyes finding and tracking not Santa and his sleigh…but a green ball mounted on a long, black pole that was being moved by one of the stagehands. Post production would add Santa to the scene, but for now she waved as the green ball headed for where she just ‘shot’ an arrow that opened up a portal for Santa to go through to save Christmas. Once it reached the right point, she shifted her gaze to Camera 1, staring directly into the wide lens. “Thank you, everyone,” she said as her smile grew softer. “Without you striving for our ideal place, I wouldn’t have been able to help Santa.” She paused just for a moment before striking the pose she closed out each and every episode of _Shiny Chariot’s Adventures_ with. “And remember: a believing heart is your magic! Happy Holidays, one and all, and have a very merry New Year!”

There was a pause, and then the clack of a clapperboard. “Aaand scene,” the director called out, and Akko Kagari gave a sigh of relief as she dropped out of her pose. “Alright, I think that one is a keeper!” Anne Finnelan continued, looking relieved. The previous take had one of the fake trees fall over after the fans had been turned on, and the takes before that had other minor issues, but this one seemed like it had gone flawlessly. “Miss Kagari, you can come down if you want.”

Akko nodded, coming down off of the set, pulling off her wide-brimmed hat and rolling her neck, groaning slightly as it popped and cracked. The moment she stepped off the huge stage, Lotte came hustling up with her portable makeup set, and Akko obediently froze as Lotte touched up her handiwork just in case they needed another take. Standing slightly further back, Amanda O’Neill, the show’s stunt coordinator (and someone Akko worked with extensively, as she did all of her own stunts), stared thoughtfully at the stage as more workers reset the snow with wide brooms. “I think the angle of that jump was pretty good, Akko,” she called out. “I don’t think I’d change anything about it.” Then she grinned teasingly. “At least you didn’t stumble this time.”

Akko chuckled as she waved a hand. “Yeah, yeah. I just hit a slick spot is all. I think someone spilled their water or something.”

Lotte rested her hand against Akko’s back, gently guiding her over to her chair where a mobile air-conditioning unit sat. “Come on and sit down,” she said, voice slightly worried. “If you start sweating again we’ll have to do your makeup again.”

“Hai, hai,” Akko replied with a bemused smile as she sat down in her chair, sighing slightly with relief as the cool air washed over her skin. The scene took place well north of the Arctic Circle, so she was bundled up pretty heavily, and though the costume looked much warmer than it actually was, it was still well over eighty degrees in the studio, all the lights and machinery ramping up the temperature. She really hoped that this take was good…it was the last scene they needed for this episode. All she could do was wait for the final word from Finnelan. Settling back in her chair, she took a drink from her water bottle.

Some five minutes later, Finnelan stood up from her monitor. “Alright, everyone, it looks good! That’s a wrap.”

A cheer went up around the studio, followed immediately by a bustle of activity as each section went to work. Luckily for Akko and the other actors waiting on standby, their day was done. The next day or so was likely to be fairly easy for them, though Akko wasn’t quite done with the episode yet…she still needed to dub the episodes in Japanese and French. She actually looked forward to it, as it was one of the last things that she needed to do and she got along with the voice actresses that dubbed Shiny Chariot in other languages. It would be nice to see Blair, Elfriede, Shao-Yi, and Priscilla again.

She took a moment to appreciate just how far they had come from the beginning, when it was just _Shiny Chariot_ , an under-budgeted reboot of a kids show from the ‘90s that had to rely on crowd funding to get through those first seasons. They had all given it their best, and were blessed with an amazing production crew that included the original Chariot du Nord (though she had dropped that stage name in favor of her birth name, Ursula Callistis), the original special effects engineer Croix Meridies, and producers like Miranda Holbrooke. It was crazy to think that it had already been nine years, and that at the age of twenty she had gotten picked to be the new Shiny Chariot when she had idolized the character as a little girl. Even crazier that this wonderful, beautiful world was now her entire life, and that she had made guest appearances on shows like _Sesame Street_ and _The Muppets_ and other kids’ shows, not to mention the three currently running shows within the Chariot universe, _Shiny Chariot_ , _Shiny Chariot’s Adventures_ , and _Shiny Chariot’s Playhouse_. This was her dream, to breathe life into the character and inspire others to be the best that they could be, to truly believe in themselves.

So why was it that her own believing heart had faded years ago?

They all went to their dressing rooms, and Akko laughed and joked and teased with the best of them until she entered her private room. Once the door closed shut behind her and there were no longer any eyes on her, the smile fled away from her face and her shoulders slumped as she almost staggered to the vanity, collapsing into the chair as the exhaustion of pretending to be something that she wasn’t crashed down on her.

Crimson eyes lifted to stare at the vanity’s mirror, and Akko couldn’t help but wonder who the haggard, exhausted young woman in the reflection was. Where was the Akko who had once had a believing heart with the best of them? When had the magic of living her dream and inspiring others faded away? What was wrong with her that she had to force herself to smile, using every one of her acting skills to keep the truth hidden from her dearest friends?

What would everyone who believed in her think if they knew the truth?

She couldn’t let them find out. Couldn’t let anyone find out. She just had to grit her teeth, dig deep, and get past this slump. That’s what it had to be, right? Just a slump. That it had lasted for several years already was beside the point, it was still nothing but a slump and she’d beat it. Beat it just like she had beat every other set back and challenge that had come her way. And she’d beat it alone, because that’s what Atsuko Kagari did. She was strong, and she’d prove to everyone that she could do this, too.

It took her longer than usual to gather the energy to get changed out of her outfit and to get into her normal clothes. It was just because it had been a long week of shooting, right? It wasn’t something to worry about. She left the dressing room to find that the studio was dark and quiet, which caught her slightly by surprise. How long had she been in there? She pulled out her phone, groaning as she realized that she hadn’t taken it out of ‘do not disturb’ mode after shooting. There were a slew of texts, mostly from Amanda asking her if she wanted to go out to eat, then telling her that she needed to answer if she wanted to, and then finally letting her know that they had gone to their usual dive to eat if she wanted to join them.

A part of Akko was annoyed that no one had even bothered to so much as knock on her door to let her know what was up, but another part was relieved that they hadn’t. She stared down at her phone’s glowing display in indecision, biting her lip as she tried to figure out what to do. Finally she sent a quick ‘sorry, maybe next time.’ She didn’t want to deal with the others right now, especially not Amanda’s exuberance. She just wanted to go home.

Her phone buzzed. _Ok, bro, c u next time_.

She stared at the message for a moment, wondering if she should be sad or disappointed that Amanda didn’t actually fight for her to still come. Then she put that thought out of mind as she shrugged into her winter coat, pulling a knit cap down over her ears. This was for the best. She let herself get lost in the evening crowds that didn’t even notice the withdrawn, quiet, almost broken young woman amongst them.

She wouldn’t eat dinner that night, though she made sure to water her plants. She didn’t feel hungry, something that seemed to be happening more and more often…

* * *

Two days later she was called into the studio, and she and the other voice actresses dubbed the episode into the various languages that it was to be broadcast in. If you had told the Akko Kagari of eight years ago that any _Shiny Chariot_ show was going to be dubbed in another language, much less six other languages, she would have been floored. But now? Now it was just something else to do, and Akko struggled to keep up the façade around the others. It was so very difficult to get into character, to actually get the emotion that she needed to. This recording session was one of the hardest she had ever done, and she was still recording lines long after the others had left.

She felt useless. Why couldn’t she just get the freaking lines?! She had been doing this for nine freaking years, this should be as easy as breathing! And yet, even as she finished the last line of the last scene they needed, she knew. There was a pause before the intercom clicked. “Sorry, Akko,” Jasminka said from the control room. “Cons thinks that one doesn’t have quite enough flair. Can you try again, or do you need a break?” she asked. Akko just stared at the television playing the scene on loop and the script in front of her, and she didn’t move or say anything for a long moment. “Akko?”

She blinked, twitching slightly. “Sorry,” she said softly. “Just tired. Let’s try it again.”

She managed to get it on the next try, but it didn’t feel like the victory it should have.

* * *

It was a relief that they got a pretty sizable break. The holiday special wasn’t quite a season finale, but it did have a hefty gap after it, part of the contract with the studio that they had managed to get after they became more popular. Akko especially wanted the cast and crew to have a good amount of time off with their families, and so saw to it that they had through New Year’s off, and that everyone got bonuses equal to overtime for the period. She wanted them to be happy, even if she didn’t feel that way herself.

She barely even got out of bed. Didn’t even want to, really. After all, she was catching up on her sleep, right? After the break, she’d have more energy. She’d be able to get back to her old self, and would be able to give the show her all.

So then why was she still so exhausted, no matter how much sleep she got?

Eventually she had to get out of bed and leave the apartment. Despite her lack of appetite, she knew she had to eat, and she was running low on food. Of course, it was just her luck that a freak snow storm started right as she was leaving. It seemed like not many others wanted to brave the storm, and the streets were fairly deserted. Wanting to get it done with as soon as possible, Akko decided to cut through the park that she used to love visiting almost daily rather than walk around it.

Then the weirdest thing happened. Just as she entered the park, she noticed a woman sitting on one of the benches that she would have to walk by. Normally she wouldn’t think twice about it, but snow was already starting to pile up, and the wind was cold and biting. There wasn’t anyone else out, it was just Akko and this weirdo sitting on the bench. Giving the woman a suspicious glance as she skirted around her, Akko resolved to walk as quickly as possible. Even in the few minutes that she had been outside, the storm had worsen-

“A believing heart is your magic,” came the soft voice that had shivers running up and down Akko’s back. She turned to face the woman who was now standing, facing Akko.

“Excuse me?” she asked even as she fought the urge to take a step back. Holy crap, the woman was tall! Even through the heavy snow that swirled through the air between them, Akko could see that her eyes were a deep, fathomless blue, and Akko blinked, certain her eyes were playing tricks on her, ‘cuz there was no way her hair was green, right?

“A believing heart is your magic,” the woman repeated, tilting her head slightly. “You’ve suffered much, Atsuko Kagari.” Her voice was filled with a deep sadness, and Akko shivered again as the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Something was really not right with any of this. “You haven’t found her yet, but there is still hope. Believe. Believe once more in yourself and in those around you, or else the glimmer of your bright star will be smothered by oblivion.”

Now Akko didn’t hesitate to take a step back, and she suddenly wished she remembered to bring her pepper spray. She had fans come up and say some weird stuff before, but this was at a whole new level. “Uh, okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Have a good day,” she said.

The other woman didn’t say anything, merely stared at her, and Akko took another step back before turning around and taking off at a jog even as the snow fell thicker around her. Weird. That was super, super weird, right? Okay, new plan, get the necessities, and on the way home, go the long way round, just in case that crazy lady was still there.

The wind howled, and the strong gust kicked up even more snow. Akko winced and squinted her eyes as her visibility shrank down to basically nothing, even the trees lining the path fading from view in the sudden flurry. Cursing under her breath, she took another step forward-

-only to stumble forward with a shocked cry as her foot slipped off the edge of a curb that shouldn’t be there. She only just managed to not fall down to her knees, boots sliding in the icy slush of a street that shouldn’t exist…there was no way that she was half way through the park, much less at the other end of it.

The sound of an engine to her left, and she turned to see small car appear out of the swirling snow like some fantastical monster, windshield wipers furiously swishing and headlight glaring as the horn suddenly started blaring.

Her heart stopped in her chest.

Really, it was only years and years of her training in stunts that had her reacting in time, muscle memory and instinct taking over where her shocked brain failed her, and she turned towards the car, taking a single lunging step towards it before jumping into the air, her left foot hitting the car on the hood.

It wasn’t perfect, and Amanda would probably demand a redo once she made sure that Akko was alright, but she tried to push off with the foot on the hood only for it to slip, some of her momentum getting lost. Instead of vaulting cleanly over the top of the car, she hit it as the car continued to move under her, and she tucked her limbs in, cradling her head protectively in her arms as she hit the street now behind the car, feeling something crack under her hip as it met the icy, snowy, slushy asphalt.

She was distantly aware of brakes squealing slightly as the car came to a halt, but she was a bit more concerned about making sure that she was alright than she was about the car that just nearly killed her. With a groan, she sat up, wincing as icy water seeped through the fabric of her jeans. Well, that sucked, but the good news was she didn’t think anything was broken, unless she was so hopped up on adrenaline that she wasn’t feeling it. What was that crack though?

She heard a car door open as she gingerly reached into her coat pocket, and she didn’t look up at the sound of approaching feet as she pulled her shattered phone out of the pocket. Well, that was just perfect!

“Oh my God, are you alright?” came the voice of the driver as she drew closer to Akko, and Akko looked up, confused. The soft burr in that voice said either northern England or southern Scotland, which didn’t entirely make sense, not for Buckinghamshire. She pushed her confusion out of her head as she tried to decide if she wanted to reassure the other person or to tell her off for, y’know, hitting her with a freaking _car_ -

-only for her breath to freeze in her throat as the most beautiful person she had ever seen came to a sliding halt next to her, snow already gathering in wavy blonde hair with tea green highlights, and blue eyes looked down at her with naked concern. Okay, did she die and go to heaven, because no one had any right being that pretty! “Uhhh,” she managed to get out, her brain apparently incapable of anything more eloquent than that.

That prompted a worried frown. “Did it hurt?” the blonde asked as she knelt down next to Akko in the snowy, slushy street, and she gently rested her hand on Akko’s shoulder.

[ ](/)

For a moment, Akko was confused. Was she getting hit on? Oh, what was the punchline from that cheesy pick up line? “When I fell from heaven?” she dumbly asked.

The look she got was perplexed and not a little concerned. “No, when I hit you with my car…are you alright?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah, I think I’m okay. I don’t think anything is broken, at least.”

The blonde sagged with relief. “Thank God! I just about had a heart attack.” Then she was frowning down at Akko. “Where did you even come from? You’re lucky I wasn’t going any faster because of the snow!”

Akko grimaced as she tenderly stood, the other woman steadying her with a hand under her arm. “I’m…honestly not sure. I was just walking through the park when I stepped out onto the street. I know it’s snowing like crazy, but I didn’t think I was _that_ close to the end of the park.” Then she noticed the completely bewildered look she was getting. “What?”

“Park? What park?” the blonde asked. “Beyond that copse of trees are fields. The only park nearby is in the middle of town.”

Was the world spinning? It felt like the world was spinning. “Uh, okay. Where am I?”

“We’re on the outskirts of the town of Blytonbury.”

Akko stared at her for a shocked second. “I’m sorry, _where?_ ”

* * *

A very confusing half hour later found the two of them sitting alone in the small health clinic that the blonde was the doctor of. Akko was cradling a Styrofoam cup of tea in her hands as she tried to wrap her head around just what the hell was going on. Blytonbury was a small and out of the way town to the far north of the country, and it seemed like its only claim to fame was its proximity to the prestigious Luna Nova University. The thing that was really freaking Akko out was the fact that it was several hundred miles north of Buckinghamshire. There was no explicable way that she could have gone from the park near her apartment to a road on the outskirts of Blytonbury, and yet, here she was. Honestly, she was kinda wondering if Sucy hadn’t somehow fed her shrooms or something and this was all just a _really_ convincing hallucination. Sighing heavily, she took a sip of the tea to try and warm up even as she shivered again. Her pants were slowly drying off but she was still cold.

“So let me get this straight,” the doctor said as she stepped into the room with her own cup of tea, a confused frown on her face. “You were just in the park next to your apartment in Buckinghamshire that lies almost three hundred miles to the south, and then you stumbled into the street?” She sat down behind her desk, and Akko glanced at the nameplate on its surface. Dr. Diana Cavendish. Wasn’t fair that her name was just as pretty as she was…

Akko sighed heavily. “Look, I know it’s crazy. If it hadn’t happened to me, I wouldn’t believe it either. It’s impossible.”

To her surprise, Dr. Cavendish gave a small smile at her words. “Well, if it was impossible, then why are you sitting in my clinic in Blytonbury, enjoying a cup of tea with me?” Akko didn’t have an answer for that, and so took a sip of her tea. Dr. Cavendish leaned back in her chair, the seat creaking slightly as she hummed thoughtfully. “I know that neither of us can explain how it happened, but it obviously happened. No point in wasting all our energy in trying to figure out the how. Better to figure out how to get you home.”

Akko nodded. “That’s fair.”

Then Dr. Cavendish grinned teasingly. “And besides, it’s almost Christmas. Maybe it was magic!”

Akko had to force herself to laugh at that even as she remembered that creepy lady from the park. Now that she thought about it, she was convinced that she had something to do with this! Probably better not to mention her to the doctor, though. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Anyway, are you sure you aren’t hurt, Miss Kagari? I can give you a quick exam, and I could call the local constabulary to get an official report, if you wish.”

That had Akko almost furiously shaking her head as she suddenly remembered that she couldn’t remember the last time that she had showered. The thought of someone as pretty as the woman in front of her getting a good eyeful of her undoubtedly greasy hair filled her with something approaching panic. “Oh, no, Doctor Cavendish, I’m fine! Uh, for what it’s worth, that’s not the first car I’ve been hit by, and it won’t be the last…not even the _worst_ , either, to be perfectly honest.”

Dr. Cavendish gave an amused snort. “Good heavens, was that meant to reassure me? I suppose you’re a stunt double or some such, then?”

 _No, I’m the lead actress of a series of kids’ shows who just so happens to do my own stunts_ , Akko thought but did not say. She wasn’t sure why, but she didn’t want the pretty doctor to think of her as Chariot de l’Est, she wanted her to think of her as Akko Kagari. “Something like that. What about you, doctor? Do you need to file a report to fix any dents in your car through your insurance?”

Dr. Cavendish looked at her for a moment before glancing away, and was it just Akko, or did her cheeks darken with a slight blush? “Thanks to your quick thinking and action, there weren’t any. I don’t see the need to get the bobbies involved unless you feel it necessary. And, um…you can just call me Diana. _Doctor Cavendish_ is a bit stuffy, isn’t it?”

Akko grinned. “A bit. Well, in that case, you can call me Akko, not Miss Kagari.”

Diana grinned back at her. “Well, then. Charmed, Akko. Now, let’s try and figure your arrangements while you stay with us in our quaint little town.”

‘Arrangements’ turned out to be the Elm Tree Inn, which, unsurprisingly, had a large elm tree in its yard, the stately tree’s branches now heavily laden with snow. Akko got the feeling that the old building had been there for a long, long time, and it definitely had a rustic feel to it. Heck, it didn’t even have free wifi! Not that that mattered, given that Akko’s phone was completely busted, but still, it was the principle of the matter! But for all its quaintness, they offered bang up service. Once Diana explained that Akko didn’t have any luggage or toiletries to the old lady behind the counter, old Maggie went tottering off into the office behind her and appeared a few moments later with a pair of pajamas that had a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a hair brush resting on it.

“If you need to have your clothes laundered, just let me know, dearie,” Maggie said as she grinned up at Akko past a toothless mouth. “I can wash them tonight, free of charge.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that,” Akko replied, shifting slightly on her feet with a grimace. After landing in the icy slush earlier, her clothes definitely needed to be cleaned, and if she could get it done for free, all the better. “Is there any place in town offering take away?”

“In this weather? Not likely, dearie. However, we do offer our own supper. Freddie has made a lovely cottage pie tonight, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

Akko fidgeted slightly at that, painfully conscious of how she didn’t feel anywhere near as hungry as she should have. “That sounds delicious, thank you.”

“Well, it seems as though you have everything in hand,” Diana cut in with a smile. “If that will be all…” She began to turn away, and panic rose in Akko’s chest, startling in its intensity.

“Wait!” she cried, one hand lifting as though to grab Diana’s sleeve, and all three of them froze, Akko blushing, Diana’s eyes widening, and Maggie glancing between the two of them. Why did the thought of Diana leaving already bother Akko this much? “U-um,” she stammered, fidgeting at the sudden attention. “W-would you mind having dinner with me?” she asked, butterflies erupting in her stomach. Diana blinked, rocking slightly back on her heels, and Akko felt her blush deepen dramatically. “I’m sorry, that was rude, wasn’t it? I’ve already taken up enough of your time and you probably have a family to get home to and-”

“No family,” Diana cut in, her voice steady as she smiled reassuringly. “Just a maid who is visiting family in Durham and a cat who acts like she hasn’t eaten in a fortnight no matter what time I get home. I suppose I could join you for dinner.”

Akko sagged with relief as she smiled, ignoring the guilt that ate away at the back of her mind. After all, it wasn’t just her surprisingly powerful desire for her time with Diana to not end that had her asking for her to stay. It was also the fact that she just knew that if she didn’t have someone to eat dinner with, she probably wouldn’t eat at all. It made her feel like she was using Diana rather than just enjoying her company. The feeling plagued her as she got her room key (which was an honest-to-goodness _key_ , this place was so rustic they didn’t even have electronic locks on their doors!) and went upstairs to her room to drop off her coat before heading back down to the small, cozy dining room that was covered in holiday décor.

Diana was waiting for her in a small booth off to the side, her winter coat lying on the seat next to her, and Akko’s stride faltered as she realized just how achingly beautiful the other woman was, her blonde hair resting against her shoulders, modest earrings in her ears, and her crème jumper seemed to glow alluringly in the dim lighting of the room. Soft. Everything about Diana gave the feeling of softness, and Akko’s hands twitched at her sides as she fiercely stamped down the urge to run her fingers through Diana’s hair. She only just managed to stifle a whimper as the urge intensified when Diana looked up and smiled at her approach.

“I hope you don’t mind, I’ve already ordered both of us the cottage pie. The inn is small enough that they only offer one entrée per evening, and you had seemed like you were open to having some while checking in.”

“Oh, no, that’s perfectly fine,” Akko said with a small, reassuring grin as she sat down across from Diana. “Only one entrée, huh? What would the alternative have been?”

“Sandwiches. That or a big salad.” Diana paused, her head tilting to the side as she frowned thoughtfully at Akko. “Pardon me for saying this, but…have we met before?”

Akko felt herself pale at that, and she leaned slightly back in her seat as she was once again struck with the strongest desire that Diana not know that she was a celebrity. She just wanted to be Akko, nothing more and nothing less. “I don’t think so? Maybe I just have one of those faces…”

But Diana continued to stare at her, eyes really _focused_ in a way that was quite honestly unnerving. “No,” she said slowly, “it’s not just your face. You simply seem…are you _sure?_ It’s like I _know_ you, but I can’t recall where from. Not just your face or your voice, but _you_. All of you.” She paused, looking to the side, expression troubled as her fingers fidgeted on the tabletop. “It’s the strangest feeling…”

Akko blinked. Now that Diana said it, and now that Akko was past the panic of Diana finding about her being the current Chariot…there was something about the woman sitting across from her that…oh, wow, that was _weird!_ It was like something on the tip of Akko’s tongue, something just barely out of reach and recollection. Even though she knew for a fact that she had never met Diana in person (she would have _definitely_ remembered her!) she really did seem familiar in a way that should have been impossible. “That’s…odd,” she murmured. “I totally get what you’re saying.” Before she could continue, a jolly looking old man came up to their booth with their food.

“Ah, thank you, Freddie,” Diana smiled, and Akko nodded as he put the plates in front of them, and soon the two of them were eating.

Akko wished she could say that eating the first bite threw a magical switch that made her voracious, and that she then inhaled her food, but that’s not what happened. That wasn’t to say that the food wasn’t delicious, because it really was, a testament to the skill of the man who prepared it, but it was like Akko was enjoying it through another person. Her taste buds were saying the food was tasty, but it was like the message was coming from a distance. Akko had to force herself to eat every bite that she took, which only had frustration flaring through her. Why couldn’t her body actually get its act together? She couldn’t remember the last time she actually had another resembling a full meal so she should be completely starving, but she had no appetite to speak of. Like she had feared, she knew that if Diana wasn’t sitting across from her, she might have picked at the food at best. At least with someone else at the table, she felt like she had to eat what was on her plate or else be rude. Thankfully, if Diana noticed anything strange, she didn’t mention it.

They were quiet as they ate, something else that Akko was thankful for. She wasn’t sure how up for conversation she was, especially since she had a lingering sense of oddness from what Diana had mentioned before. For all the world, it felt like they had shared a meal before. Actually, no. Not just one meal, but countless meals. Sitting across the table from Diana felt as natural as breathing, even though that didn’t make a lick of sense. Why did she feel so familiar?! Then Akko remembered one of the things that the weird lady in the park had said. She had mentioned that Akko hadn’t found ‘her’ yet. Was Diana that ‘her’?

“Something on your mind?”

Akko jerked slightly at that, looking up with wide eyes to meet Diana’s concerned gaze. “Oh, um…kinda. I’m also a bit tired. Today…I’ve never experienced a day like this before. I mean, I shouldn’t even be here right now, and yet here I am.”

“Mm. That’s true. Well, one thing is for certain, tomorrow we can work on getting you back home.”

Akko forced herself to nod at that, even as her eyes dropped down to stare listlessly at her almost empty plate, and she pushed it slightly away, her stomach turning at the thought of eating another bite. That, and at the thought of leaving Diana and going back to her quiet apartment back in Buckinghamshire.

Just who _was_ this woman who affected her so? Why did the thought of never seeing her again fill her with a sense of dread?

That thought kept bouncing around her skull as Diana gave her farewells before heading out into the cold, snowy darkness, leaving Akko to go up to her small room alone. Never before had her isolation felt so terrible, and the fear of it penetrated the numbness that was Akko’s life. She feared sleep, and fought going to bed for as long as she could, making sure to wait until Maggie had laundered her clothes and brought them back up to her room before she finally let herself lie down on the soft bed.

But to her surprise, her dreams were calm and soothing, a woman with blonde and tea green hair, calm blue eyes, and a reassuringly warm smile keeping the shadows at bay.

* * *

The next day dawned grey, leaden clouds hanging low in the sky, though the worst of the storm seemed to have blown itself out. It was still snowing heavily, but the flakes weren’t being driven by a biting wind. Akko forced herself to get out of bed, a task easier than she had expected. She actually felt surprisingly restless and fidgety, not content to stay in her room for very long after she did her morning wash-up. Breakfast was light, but she did force herself to at least eat a few bites of the porridge that Freddie offered, even if she had to add an obscene amount of sugar and honey to it to sweeten it enough for her lack of appetite to tolerate it. Then she was bundling herself up in her hat and coat and stepping out into the small, snowy town.

It did not take her long at all to form an opinion. It was picturesque, almost like it came straight out of one of those rote holiday movies where the plot was always the same. Charming, but a bit generic for all that. It seemed like the townsfolk seemed perfectly content to take advantage of the terrible weather, and what shops were open were likely only open because the owners lived close enough to walk to them, as the roads were all but impassable, still blanketed in heavy snow. Akko hoped that Diana had been able to get home easily enough and that her cat wasn’t too angry at her for her late arrival. The thought of a cat angrily meowing up at Diana as she opened up the door to her home had a fleeting smile touch Akko’s lips, and she wondered if Diana talked to her cat.

That led to other idle thoughts about the blonde doctor even as she continued to meander along, taking in the sights and sounds of Blytonbury. Most of the sidewalks had been cleared enough that the townspeople were out and about, greeting one another warmly, adults talking about life while the children made the most of the heavy blanket of snow, building forts and snowmen and having snowball fights. With the cheery wreaths hanging from the street lights and the festive bunting in shop windows and decorating the houses and the people taking advantage of the snow to come together as a community…it struck Akko that she was witness to something that felt quintessentially like ‘Christmas.’ It wasn’t about the presents, it was about greeting your neighbors with a smile, it was bringing fresh, hot food to the elderly while your husband or son shoveled out their sidewalk and driveway, it was coming together as a town after a storm.

And here she was, an outsider. Able to watch, but not to touch. Honestly, she didn’t _want_ to touch…that would feel like intruding. And so she walked along the streets, smiling at the good will and peace and friendship on display as she made her way towards the main drag where most of the shops were, and by noon she had a few extra changes of clothes and her own pajamas so that she could return the lender that she got from the inn.

To her surprise, being out in the cold and walking around actually gave her a bit of an appetite, and she headed to a small bistro tucked between a hardware store and a barbershop. Like the rest of the town, it was festively decorated and was thankfully not terribly busy. She had free choice of seating, and chose a seat at a table for two that gave her a view out the bay windows facing the street. The service was quick, and within ten minutes she had her sandwich and crisps. She ate while people watching, only to blink as she recognized Diana walking down the sidewalk, an auburn-haired constable and a dark-haired secretary at her sides…er, at least Akko thought the other woman was a secretary. She was dressed in office clothes under her outerwear, at least.

By some small stroke of luck, Diana glanced into the bistro, and Akko gave a quick wave at her. Diana did a double-take before pausing and saying a few words to her companions and the three of them entered the shop, Diana smiling warmly at her while the dark-haired woman looked at her with curiosity and the constable gazed at her with some suspicion. “Akko, hello!” Diana said before turning to her friends. “Let me introduce my friends, Barbara and Hannah.”

Hannah sniffed slightly indignantly as she rocked back on her heels, peering under the brim of her hat at Akko. “Constable England, if you would,” she said, her accent stronger than Diana’s. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you around town, Miss…Akko, was it?”

“Akko…Akko Kagari.” She tried very hard not to look guilty or suspicious. “I came into town last night.”

Constable England quirked a brow. “Did you? A neat trick, given that the roads leading to town were shut down and the trains weren’t running because of the storm.”

“Hannah, that’s enough,” Diana said, her voice soft. But for all that softness, it had a hint of strength behind it, like a steel fist in a velvet glove. “She’s done nothing wrong, and I can vouch for her.”

Constable England drew in a breath before rolling her eyes and exhaling a gusty sigh. “Fine, fine, I’ll leave her be.” Then some of the suspicion left her eyes, and she tilted her head. “Hang on, have I seen you on the telly?”

“Uh, maybe?” Akko said with a nervous smile.

“She said she does some stunt work, so it’s possible, Hannah. Now would you please leave the poor woman alone?”

Barbara laughed. “Seriously, Hannah, this is why we don’t get more tourists. You’re not the Scotland Yard, there’s no need to be so suspicious all the time!”

“Hey, I’m doing my best to keep the people in town safe!”

“Sure you are,” Barbara said, voice mocking in the manner of very close friends poking fun at each other. “Now come on, we’re going to be late for the final preparations!”

Diana glanced at Akko. “Are you busy?” she asked, looking down at Akko’s nearly empty plate.

Akko shrugged. “Not particularly.”

“You want to come with?”

“Wait, you’re inviting her?!” Constable England nearly screeched, and Diana turned hard eyes on her friend.

“Yes. I _am_. And if you don’t stop acting like a cow, I’m going to tell Frank about how his Constable is acting.”

Constable England paled before pouting down at the floor, kicking at it with her toe. “Alright, _fine_.” She glanced up at Akko, not looking particularly happy about it as she continued. “You can call me Hannah, I guess.”

Akko gave her sunniest, most disarming smile. “And you can call me Akko!”

“Indeed,” Hannah said, an expression remarkably close to a sneer on her face, and Akko had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. Apparently the Constable needed to have a stick surgically removed from her- “What was that?”

Oh, crap, had she muttered that out loud?! “Nothing!” she squeaked before standing, her face red hot as she pulled on her coat and gathered up her things, all under the narrowed eyes of Hannah while Diana sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose and Barbara snickered. The four of them headed out into the cold, and Akko looked around as they all began to head down the street. “So, um, where are we headed?” she asked. “What final preparations were you talking about?”

“Holiday party for the town. School kids put on a small pageant, there’s a dance and a raffle, and food for those who aren’t able to cook for themselves,” Diana explained as she matched her stride to Akko’s, staying by her side as the other two walked slightly ahead, bickering about table placements. “It’s a nice way to bring everyone together and make sure that no one is alone on Christmas. It’s nice.” She paused, her smile turning sad as her eyes grew distant. “It’s something my mum would do before she passed, and when I moved here from Wedinburgh, I made sure to continue the tradition.”

Akko snorted, lightly elbowing Diana’s arm. “I bet your aunt loves that!” Then she blinked, pausing and looking over her shoulder at Diana, who had frozen and was staring at her with wide eyes. “What?”

“I never told you about my aunt,” she said softly, and Akko blinked before paling.

“I…I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know how I even _knew_ to say that!” she said, shivering as that odd sensation of familiarity flared. How had she known that Diana had an aunt?

“A lucky guess?” Diana asked, tone troubled. “That’s what it must have been, that’s all.” She began to walk again, linking her arm with Akko’s, a distant and distracted frown on her face. For her part, Akko tried very hard not to blush at how natural it felt to have their arms linked like this. Yeah, Diana had to be right, it much have been a lucky guess.

The event was to be held at the town hall, and there were others already setting up. Diana, Hannah, and Barbara were all very warmly welcomed, and the three of them quickly set to work, though Diana paused, looking over her shoulder at Akko, a smile touching her lips. “Are you going to help or just watch?” she asked teasingly, and Akko smiled back before she followed after.

The rest of the day was spent helping Diana, and once more, Akko was struck at how natural it felt to be around her, and at times it felt almost as though she knew exactly what Diana was going to say next. For the first time in a very long time, Akko felt at peace, and she knew it was in no small part due to Diana. There was something about Diana that helped her remember how to live in the small moments, and she realized that she didn’t want this to end. Unfortunately, nothing lasted forever. Eventually supper time came around, and everyone who helped went to a restaurant to enjoy a meal together after their hard work. Akko almost had to laugh at the look on the greeter’s face as they all filed into the door, and soon they were all laughing and joking and eating. Akko let herself get swept up into the revelry, and her own laughter wasn’t as much of an act as it could have been, what with Diana at her side. Thankfully Barbara and (surprisingly enough) Hannah had warmed up to her, as well, which was a nice bonus. Plus, the restaurant had some of the best strawberry tarts she had ever had…apparently they grew the fruits year round in a greenhouse so that they were always fresh.

But this, too, had to end.

They were wrapping up when there was an excited gasp, and Akko turned to see a little girl staring at her with sparkling eyes, her entire face lit up with joy as she practically bounced in place. “Oh, it _is_ you!” she cried, and Akko felt her stomach drop even as she forced herself to keep smiling. The girl looked over her shoulder at a woman who Akko could only presume was her mother. “I told you, mum! I _told_ you it was Chariot de l’Est from _Shiny Chariot_!”

By now the group had quieted down, looking on in curiosity, and for a moment, Akko faltered. But then, just as doubt began to fill the little girl’s eyes, she forced herself to get into character as she turned to face the little girl with a bright smile. “Such a smart and sharp eyed young lady!” she beamed. “What’s your name?”

Now it seemed as though she realized that she was talking to the one and only Chariot de l’Est, and she disappeared behind his mother in a flash, peeking out from around her legs. “Theresa, ma’am,” she managed to squeak out.

“It is a pleasure to meet such a kind young lady like yourself, Theresa,” Akko said, turning on all the charm that she could. Even if she wanted to crawl back into the cavern of anonymity, Theresa would likely remember this moment for years to come. She couldn’t spoil it for her.

“Do you…do you think you could do some magic?” she asked hopefully, and Akko winced even as her mom began to speak.

“Oh, no, honey, we can’t ask-”

“I’m sorry, I wish I could, but-”

“The Miserable Meridies has cast a terrible curse on Chariot, and I’m helping her get her magic back.”

Akko froze at that before turning to stare at Diana, who was smiling confidently at Theresa, who looked both parts terrified and excited, her eyes darting about as though one of the front running villains of the show was going to appear out of nowhere. “You _are?_ ” she gasped.

“Yes, I am! And we need your help. The more that we believe in ourselves, each other, and in her, the more powerful her magic will be! After all…” she said, blue eyes glancing leadingly at Akko, and she knew exactly what Diana was about to do and say. Her own body moved almost by instinct, and she and Diana posed, though they were slightly different…Diana’s was a dead on copy of Ursula’s when she was Chariot du Nord.

“A believing heart is your magic!” they both said in unison, voices clear and carrying. Then Akko was signing an autograph for Theresa, who seemed completely gobsmacked that the town Doctor knew _the_ Chariot. She waved as Theresa’s mother herded her out the door. Dead silence filled the air, and she slowly turned to look at the others, who were all staring at her with expressions ranging from curious to amused.

Her hands were shaking.

She felt sick to her stomach.

Why? Why did this have to happen _now?_

Then Diana was standing, grasping her hand and gently pulling her, and Akko couldn’t find the strength to do anything but follow after, and moments later found them out in the cold, and Diana was rubbing her back comfortingly.

“You knew?” Akko managed to croak out. Diana didn’t answer for a moment, and Akko shuddered. “Is that why you feel like you know me? God, how could I have been so _stupid_ as to hope that I could just be Akko for once and not-”

Warm arms wrapping around her had her stuttering to a halt as she returned the unexpected hug. “No, Akko, shh. I just recognized the name _Shiny Chariot_ , luv. It’s okay, breathe with me, that’s right…in and out, easy now.”

Akko forced herself to do as Diana said, and slowly the panic attack that had her in its terrible grip faded away. She sniffled, and was surprised that she had even started crying in the first place. Meanwhile, Diana continued, her voice low and throaty and soothing.

“Akko, it’s okay. You’ll always be Akko to me, not a fictional character on television. I’ve got you, you’re okay.”

It took Akko a few minutes to gather herself, for the panic attack to completely melt away, but she managed, finally stepping back and giving Diana a watery smile. “Th-thanks for the help, and, uh…sorry for crying all over your coat.”

Diana shook her head with a soft smile. “I don’t give a damn about the coat.” Then she was frowning with concern. “Akko, that was not a normal reaction…are you okay?”

Akko stilled, even the breath freezing in her lungs for an agonizing moment before she huffed, breath clouding in the frigid air. “Would it matter if I wasn’t?”

“Yes.”

Again, the breath froze in her lungs, and she stared wide-eyed at Diana. That single word had had all the conviction in the world. It wasn’t just casual concern or mere lip service, Diana truly believed that it mattered. Silence reigned for a moment before Akko felt herself sag. “Can we…can we talk about this someplace warmer?”

Diana stared at her for a moment before she grabbed Akko’s hand and began to silently lead her through town.

Not a word was spoken between them on that walk.

Diana took Akko to her house, and Akko stood in the entryway, feeling awkward as Diana talked to her cat, apologizing for being so late before she gestured for Akko to follow her into the cozy living room, and they sat side-by-side on the couch. “This isn’t how I expected to spend my Christmas Eve,” she quipped, only to freeze when Diana lay her hand on Akko’s knee.

“I’m listening,” was all she said…was all that she needed to say, really.

Akko talked. She talked more than she had outside of her lines in the show in years. She cried, too, and this time when the tears started, Diana drew her into her arms, the both of them laying on the couch as Akko let everything out. She talked and talked and talked until her voice was hoarse, and through it all, Diana listened quietly until Akko finally ran out of things to say.

She drew in a breath, the sound of the air rushing into her lungs a quiet rasp against Akko’s ear as it rested against Diana’s chest. “You aren’t alone in how you feel, Akko, and it isn’t a weakness to ask for help, to talk about your depression.” She paused, hands running up and down Akko’s back. “But you know what? I think you aren’t going to have any trouble in getting help after this. I believe in you.”

There was something about the way that Diana said that that put Akko entirely at ease, and she felt exhaustion come rushing in. Feeling safe and warm and secure in Diana’s arms, she didn’t try and fight it, and she murmured something she would have been scared to voice during the waking hours before she slipped away into sleep.

* * *

When Akko grew awake in the morning, it was to a sense of restfulness she hadn’t felt in a very long time, and she stretched out in her bed with a happy noise in the back of her throat, her arms and feet brushing against her cool sheets. That was nice of Diana to-

Her eyes snapped open as she jolted upright in bed, eyes darting around, taking in her bedroom in Buckinghamshire, and her head swam as confusion roiled heavily in her gut. Wait…how was this possible? She had just been in Blytonbury! Had it all been a dream?! What time was it?!

Frantically, she tore the phone out of her pocket, only to freeze as she realized that the screen was completely shattered, courtesy of her fall after getting hit by Diana’s car. So it wasn’t a dream, but then…what was she doing back home? No! No, she couldn’t just let it end like that, she needed to get back to Blytonbury, she needed to get back to-!

She froze from where she had thrown herself out of bed. “No…” she whispered to herself even as the memories of the last two days began to slip away like sand through a sieve. “No, no, no!” Frantic now, she darted to her small kitchen, grabbing the first pen she could find and snatching up a take away order that she had left on the counter, but the moment she moved the pen’s tip to the paper, she froze again, a cold sweat breaking out on her forehead. Why couldn’t she remember her name? Okay, fine, if she couldn’t remember _her_ name, then at least the name of the town that she had-

Akko stared at the menu, pen gripped in her hand. What was…there was something really important that she was trying to remember, something she had to do, but…what was it? Something teased at her memory, just out of reach, of a pale gold and tea green and calm blue and a warm smile and strength, but then that, too, slipped away.

A tear rolled down her cheek.

For a moment, she just stood there. But then…she walked into her living room and opened up her laptop, heart lurching in her chest as she noticed how many messages she had from all of her friends wishing her a Merry Christmas, even after how horrid she had been…she clicked on Ursula-sensei’s name, her fingers pausing over her keyboard before she began to type.

_‘Hey, sensei…Merry Christmas. Um, I need to talk…I think I need help…’_

Epilogue

The van was boisterous, and Akko laughed at a particularly raunchy joke that Amanda said even as the others groaned. This felt…good. The last year had been one hell of a roller-coaster, to be honest. The tabloids had had a field day when they found out that she was seeking treatment for depression, but once the smoke settled, she realized how important it was to be open about it all. She believed in herself, just as her friends did, and with a good treatment plan, she was actually feeling almost like her old self. And if she could use her experiences to inspire others to seek help, then all the better.

This holiday season, she had somehow convinced the others to go on a road trip across Britain, enjoying the small, out of the way towns. The others said it was crazy, but eh, why not?

They were driving along the A68 when Akko saw the sign for Blytonbury. “Oh, hey,” she called out over the din of the others, “that place has a restaurant that has the _best_ strawberry tarts, we should stop there for lunch.”

Silence gripped the van for a moment. “Akko,” Lotte said slowly, brows drawn together. “How do you know that? You’ve never been this far north.”

Akko blinked. “I…don’t know. Maybe I read it in a blog or something.”

“Eh, not complaints from me!” Amanda said with a grin. “I’m starving!”

It wasn’t all that much longer before they were driving through the small town, and Akko’s skin prickled as the strongest case of deja-vu she had ever felt hit her. She knew for a fact that she had never been here, but at the same time…God, it all felt so familiar, and she couldn’t say why. Weird.

She looked around curiously as she parked the van, and they all filed out, Amanda and Sucy groaning as they stretched and Jasminka talking with Lotte about how excited she was to try the food even as Constanze quietly played on her Switch. They all filed into the festively decorated restaurant, and the greeter met them with a smile. “Hello, everyone, and welcome. Table for six?”

“Yes, please,” Akko grinned back, and the bell above the door jingled behind her, the greeter peering around Akko before her grin widened.

“Ah, Doctor Cavendish, good to see you.”

Akko glanced over her shoulder before freezing, her crimson eyes meeting blue that haunted her dreams. Those blue eyes widened, and the world seemed to fade away as Akko turned to fully face the other woman who had neatly braided blonde hair with tea green highlights. “Pardon me for saying this,” the woman said, and Akko’s skin prickled as her heart skipped a beat. “But have we ever met?”

Akko blinked, breath hitching in her throat. “Di…Diana?” she whispered, her voice hoarse, and Diana’s eyes widened, recognition flashing through them.

“Akko?”

The last bit of peace that she had been missing in her heart fell into place, and she almost sagged, happy tears running down her cheeks.

“I finally found you…”


End file.
